Not In Wonderland

melihat dinding
bercorak melingkar
bagai usia sang penjaga
memanggil dalam mimpi..
saat pintunya terbuka
batasan mimpi dan kenyataan
hanyalah suara nafas
yang berhembus di rongga dada

menggapai, berjalan,
lalu berlari
terhenti saat lelah
menoleh saat terdengar
detak jantung sang penjaga
seolah menggapaimu
saat terjatuh
bayangan yang mulai terlihat
tampak  buram saat mulai melangkah

siapa di sana
masih ter ngiang
saat suara mengalun bagai nyanyian
alunannya bagai sesuatu
yang lahir di negri yang jauh
bukan negri wonderland
serupa tapi tak sama
kebahagiaan tak ada disana
hanya keresahan seperti jalan tak berujung
bersatu pada ketidak inginan tuk  melangkah

going 30

finally...
i'll pass it...
another 2 hours more
welcome mature
welcome another me
we'll going together
with no regret
face the reality
face the maturity
until the oldy come
and bring us to the next life
release from the nighmare sociaty
to the deep eternal sleep
and be free..

.......


i am written this while remembering seven years ago,. when i was celebrated my 23 age,. i was in the fourth floor, with no body except Moo, my little cute doll and the full moon. they all become memory and will always in my heart. ( and im surprice why i am not scare at  all. and realese Allah SWT always save me from the bad ) thanks Allah because You Iam here in the middle of my true family.. You're may True Love..